In Mary’s feelings towards Jesus, a double aspect must be taken into account. That is, all that they implied affectionately, towards the divine Son, either as her only Son, or as Son of God and Redeemer.
In the first aspect, her most tender heart tended to hold her beloved Jesus close to her; in the second, she offered Him for our Redemption. These are two contrary sentiments, in a tragic and very painful opposition, because of the great tenderness of her maternal embrace for the divine Son and because of the heartbreaking tearing of the Cross on which she was going to offer Him for us.
It is important to observe that Mary’s heart had an admirable conformity to the greatness of her Son and that the two opposing sentiments were in perfect harmony in her, summed up in the offering of Jesus, immensely painful and loving; painful because it was heartbreaking for her maternal heart and loving because she made it to God for his glory and our redemption.
To these two aspects of the Divine Maternity and to the corresponding opposite sentiments of Mary, correspond reciprocally, in the heart of Jesus, the intimate union with the Virgin Mother and the dependence on her as Son, and the perfect union with the Heavenly Father as Son of God and Envoy for the salvation of the world.
The first is expressed in the summary of His entire hidden life: “He was subject to them” (Luke 2:51); the second in His exclamation at the moment of the finding in the temple: “Didn’t You know that I must be about my Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49). For the first love He would never have wanted to leave her, for the second He wanted to distance Himself from her until the His death on the Cross.
And He harmonized in a supreme way the two unions and the two loves, the joy of the desired presence and the torment of the desired salvific distance, by calling the Virgin Mother to Calvary, close to Him, at the extreme moment of His immolation.
It should be noted that the Virgin was the most precious creature for Jesus, and in order to understand this, we must remember all of Jesus’ boundless love for His Mother; that Mother that He himself, as God, had prepared for Himself by making her the masterpiece of Creation, the supreme triumph of His grace, the fruit par excellence of His merits and sorrows, in short, the immaculate and sublime creature, in front of whom the preciousness and beauty of all others are as if extinguished.
The distance from Mary was therefore for Jesus the supreme pain, just as, conversely, for Mary it was that of Jesus, immeasurably greater than any other distance that can be thought of from any other creature or earthly thing.
It is understood, therefore, that when we speak of “estrangement”, we should not think of a disappearance of affection, but of mortification, that is to say, a renunciation of one’s inclination, as an expression of supreme love.
In this way we learn from Mary how to bear such painful distancing from our loved ones and turn it into an act of love.